Qingdao Hash House Harriers Song Book

 

Hash Songs to Learn – IMPORTANT!!!

WARNING:   Many Hash songs are more than just bawdy, suggestive and irreverent... they're downright vulgar and offensive! They may contain risque, ribald, suggestive, horrible horrible ideas, things you'll regret, inflamatory and defamatory lyrics or taboo topics. There is something to offend everyone...

Be warned before reading and singing at your own choice.

YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!!!

Now, go and wash your mouth out with soap... and then have another giggle and laugh and let your hair down and sing some more.  Alcos

Rest assured that we sing these Hash Songs purely in light-hearted jest, and with no malicious intent whatsoever.

Some of these we sing every week, some of them we sing very rarely. There are 100s of other Hash Songs out there. So, if you find one you think will be fun, learn it and teach us at a Hash and then we can add it here.

Credit to our R.A., Ivana Bendova, for compiling this QDH3 Song Book!

Can I have a note?  Mi Mi Mi Mi Miiiii  Yu Yu Yu Yu Yuuuuu


Contents

International Hash Hymn

Qingdao Hash Induction

Meet the Hashers

The Hash House Harriers

Here's To Fellow Hashers

In Heaven

Pisspot Song

Shitty Trail

DOWN-DOWN SONGS

Asshole!

Arseholes are cheap today

Bullshit

Dough, Ray, Me

Down, down, down your beer

Foreskin song

[Version for Harriets] Her Right Tit

Hare’s Song

Hashing in the Rain

He ought to Be

Head

He's a hasher, he's okay

He’s all right

[Version for Harriets] She’s all right

[Or]

He’s the lamest

He’s the meanest,

I Like Beer

Jesus Song

Jungle Smell

Masturbation

[Alternative version]

More beer

My Bonnie

O-R-G-Y

Sweet 69

Thank God she finally shut up

The down-down song

These boots are made for hashing

To the slow drinker

What A (Wank)

Where were you last week?

Why are we waiting?

Why was (s)he born so beautiful?

You are a hasher

Zulu Warrior

NATIONAL ANTHEMS

British Sailor

All Australians are born illegitimate

Ou Est Le Papier?

America, Fuck Yeah!

PISSONYA

 


 

International Hash Hymn

(Tune – Swing Low, Sweet Chariot)

Swing low, sweet chariot,

Coming for to carry me home,

Swing low, sweet chariot,

Coming for to carry me home.

I looked over Jordan and what did I see?

Coming for to carry me home,

A band of Angels, coming after me,

Coming for to carry me home.

 

And if you get there, before I do,

Coming for to carry me home,

Tell all my friends that I’ll be cumming too,

Coming for to carry me,

Coming for to carry me,

Coming for to carry me home…

 

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Qingdao Hash Induction

Oh, the Qingdao Hashers are the best family,

Drinking in a city from old Germany.

We have our Laoshan Hashers,

And our Huangdao Hashers.

Our Laowai Hashers and our Zhongguo Hashers.

Singing glorious!

Victorious!

Hey! There’s a keg of beer for the four of us.

Singing glory to the gods, 
That there no more of us,

Coz one of us will drink it all alone.

Damn near,

Grab your beer,

Hash cheers to: _______.

 

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Meet the Hashers

(Tune – “The Flintstones”)

Hashers, meet the hashers

They're the biggest drunks in history

From Qingdao,

They're the leaders in debauchery

Half minds, trailing shiggy through the years,

Watch them, as they down a lot of beers,
Down-down, down-down-down-down

Down-down, down-down-down-down-down-down…

 

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The Hash House Harriers

(Tune - Adams Family)

Their running is convulsive,
Their drinking is compulsive.
They’re morally repulsive,
The Hash House Harriers.

 

Their flatulence is rude and
Their genitals protrude, when
They’re running in the nude, oh!
The Hash House Harriers.

 

They’re always shiggy tracking,
From constantly bushwhacking.
Intelligence they’re lacking,
The Hash House Harriers.

 

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Here's To Fellow Hashers

(Tune - Ach, Du Lieber Augustin)

Here's to fellow hashers,
Fellow hashers, fellow hashers,
Here's to fellow hashers,
May they chug-a-lug.

They’re happy, they’re jolly,
They’re fucked up by golly,
Here's to fellow hashers,
May they chug-a-lug.

So drink motherfuckers,
Drink motherfuckers,
Drink motherfuckers,
Drink motherfuckers.

 

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In Heaven

(Tune - Im Himmel gibt’s kein Bier)

In heaven there is no beer,
That’s why we drink it here.
And when we’re gone from here,
Our friends will be drinking all the beer.

 

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Pisspot Song

Here's to _____,

(S)he's true blue.

(S)he's a Hasher through and through,

(S)he's a pisspot so they say.

(S)he tried to go to Heaven but (S)he went the other way.


[Alternate ending: (S)he’ll never go to heaven in a long long way.]

 

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Shitty Trail

(Tune - the Mickey Mouse Club March)

S-H-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

Shitty trail! Shitty trail!

Shitty trail! Shitty trail!

Ya motherf*ckers laid a shitty trail

I’d rather drink alone at home than run a shitty trail.

S-H-T-T-Y T-R-A-I-L

 

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DOWN-DOWN SONGS

 

Asshole!

Asshole! Asshole!  A soldier I will be.
To piss! To piss!  Two pistols on my knee.
For cunt! For cunt!  For country and for queen.
Asshole! Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!  A soldier I will be.

 

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Arseholes are cheap today

(Tune – La donna e mobile)

Arse holes are cheap today,

Cheaper than yesterday.

Little boys are half a crown

Standing up or bending down.

 

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Bullshit

(Tune - My Bonnie)

Bullshit, bullshit,

It all sounds like bullshit to me, to me.

Bullshit, bullshit,

It all sounds like bullshit to me.

 

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Dough, Ray, Me

Dough, the stuff that buys my beer
Ray, the guy who brings me beer
Me, the guy who drinks the beer
Far, a long long way from beer
So, I think I'll have a beer
La, la, la, la, la, la, la.

(La(ugh), and have another beer.)

Tea, no thanks, I'll have a beer.
That’ll bring us back to
Down, down, down, down…

 

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Down, down, down your beer

(Tune – Row, Row, Row Your Boat)

Down Down Down your beer,
To pay for your crime.
Quit complaining about the taste,
There’s no sperm this time.

 

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Foreskin song

My one skin hangs down to my two skin
My two skin hangs down to my three
My three skin hangs down to my foreskin
My foreskin hangs down to my knee.

So roll back, roll back
Roll back my foreskin for me, for me
Roll back, roll back
Roll back my foreskin for me.

 

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[Version for Harriets] Her Right Tit

Her right tit hangs down to her pussy
Her left tit hangs down to her knee
If her left tit did equal her right tit
She'd get lots more weiner from me

Push up, push up, push up that left tit for me, for me…

 

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Hare’s Song

(Tune – The Ashgrove)

And the hairs, and the hairs,

And the hairs on her dickey di-do

Hung down to her knees.

One black one, one white one,

And one with a bit of shit on,

And one with a fairy light on

To show us the way.

 

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Hashing in the Rain

Hashing in the rain

Just hashing in the rain

What a glorious feeling

We’re loaded again

We laugh at clouds

No lightening we fear

No mud slows us down

When we’re running for beer

(I just made this one up.)

 

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He ought to Be

(Tune – My Bonnie)

He ought to be thoroughly pissed on,
He ought to be publically shot (bang bang),
He ought to tied to a shithouse,
And left there to fester and rot.

 

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Head

Head? Who said “Head?”

I’ll have some of that.

And we did, And it was great!

And there was much rejoicing!!!

And then we fucked!

We fucked for hours!!!

Uprooting trees,

And bushes,

And flowers.

We fucked like Vikings

With horns on our heads.

Arrrrrrrgggghhhhh!!!!!!!!

And then she went to the kitchen

And got me a sandwich.

And I said “What? No beer?”

Head?
Who said head?
I’ll have some of that!
We don’t want women with good taste,
We want women that taste good!

 

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He's a hasher, he's okay

(Tune - Lumberjack Song (Monty Python)

He's a hasher, he's okay,

Works all day, comes out to play,

Drinks it down without complaint,

Or he wears it well.

Drink it!

Wear it!

Drink it!

Wear it!

 

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He’s all right

He’s all right,
He’s all right,
He’s got a teeny-weeny dick,
But he’s all right.

 

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 [Version for Harriets] She’s all right

She’s all right,
She’s all right,
She’s a little flat-chested,
But she’s all right.


[Or]

She’s all right,
She’s all right,
She’s got a great big rack,
But she’s too white.

 

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He’s the lamest

He’s the lamest,

He licks the horse’s anus,

He’s the lamest;

He’s the horse’s ass!

Ever since he found it,

All he does is mount it,

He’s the lamest;

He’s the horse’s ass!

 

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He’s the meanest,

He’s the meanest,

He sucks the horse’s penis.

He’s the meanest,

He’s the horse’s ass!

Ever since he found it,

All he does is pound it.

He’s the meanest,

He’s the horse’s ass!

 

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I Like Beer

(Tune - Three Blind Mice)

I like beer, I like beer,
I like beer, I like beer,
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do,
Do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do-do.
It like beer, I like beer.

 

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Jesus Song

(Tune - "The Battle Hymn of the Republic")
Jesus can't go hashing 'cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can't go hashing 'cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus can't go hashing 'cuz his feet are tied together
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves


CHORUS:

Free beer for all the Hashers
Free beer for all the Hashers
Free beer for all the Hashers
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves


Jesus can't lay trail because the flour falls through his hands
Jesus can't lay trail because the flour falls through his hands
Jesus can't lay trail because the flour falls through his hands
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves


CHORUS:


The pack can't catch Jesus 'cuz he runs across the lake
The pack can't catch Jesus 'cuz he runs across the lake
The pack can't catch Jesus 'cuz he runs across the lake
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves


CHORUS: (spread arms)


The harriettes love Jesus 'cuz he's hung like this
The harriettes love Jesus 'cuz he's hung like this
The harriettes love Jesus 'cuz he's hung like this
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves


CHORUS: (on your knees)


Jesus, we're only kidding
Jesus, we're only kidding
Jesus, we're only kidding
Jesus saves, Jesus saves, Jesus saves

 

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Jungle Smell

(Tune - Jingle Bells)

Jungle smell, jungle smell,
Shitty all the way.
Oh what fun it is to run,
Through the swamp on a Saturday.

Jungle smell, jungle smell,
Trailing all the way.
All those drunken S.C.B.’s,
Cursing the whole day.

 

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Masturbation

(Tune - Finculi-Fincula)

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would,
Last night I stayed at home and masturbated,
It felt so nice, I did it twice.

You, you should have seen me on the short strokes,
It felt so grand, I used my hand,
You, you should have seen me on the long strokes,
It felt so neat, I used my feet.

Smash it, bash it, throw it on the floor,
Wrap it around the bedpost, stick it in the door,
Some people say that sexual intercourse is something really grand.
But, me, I'd rather stay at home and work it off by hand.

 

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Masturbation [Alternative version]

(Tune - Finculi-Fincula)

Last night I stayed at home and masturbated,
It felt so good, I knew it would,
Last night I stayed at home and masturbated,
It felt so nice, I did it twice.

First, I gave it the short stroke, round and round, round and round,
[Hand move around the cock shaft]

Then, I gave it the long stroke, way up and down, way up and down,
[Hand moves up and down the cock]

Smash it, bash it, throw it on the floor,
Wrap it ’round the bedpost, slam it in the door,
Some people say that sexual intercourse is might, mighty grand,
But speaing for myself, I’d rather use my hand.

 

More beer

(Tune - Auld Lang Syne)
More beer, more beer, more beer, more beer,
More beer, more beer, more beer! (MORE BEER!)
More beer, more beer, more beer, more beer,
More beer, more beer, more beer! (MORE BEER!)

 

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My Bonnie

My bonnie lies over the ocean,

My bonnie lies over the sea.

My bonnie lies over the ocean,

Please, bring back my bonnie to me.

Bring back, bring back,

Please, bring back my bonnie to me.

 

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O-R-G-Y

Give me an “O”!

Give me an “R”!

Give me a “G”!

Give me a “Y”!

What does that spell?

ORGY!

What does that take?
TEAMWORK!

 

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Sweet 69

[For any sex related incidents]

 (Tune - Sweet Caroline – Courtesy of Le Cunt)

Lips, touchin’ lips

Reachin’ out,  licking you, licking me!

Sweet 69

(***)

Oral never felt so good,

(so good so good)

Now we bump and grind,

(***)

with sloppy crotch and sloppy wood!

 

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Thank God she finally shut up

(Tune - Looney Tunes Theme)

Thank God she finally shut up,
She’s always fucking bitchin,
So drink your beer, get out of here,
And get back in the kitchen!

 

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The down-down song

This is your down-down song,
It isn’t very long…

Drink it down-down-down-down…

 

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These boots are made for hashing

[New shoes song]

These boots are made for hashing,
And that’s just what they’ll do.
One of these days, these boots are gonna,
Hash all over you.

 

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To the slow drinker

All this time that you're taking,

I know that you're faking,

We could be masturbating,

I fear.

Now we've run out of song,

And we won't get along,

Until you finish,

That fucking beer!

 

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What A (Wank)

(Tune – William Tell Overture)

What a wank, what a wank,

What a wank, wank, wank,

What a wank, what a wank,

What a wank, wank, wank,

What a wank, what a wank,

What a wank, wank, wank,

What a wank,

What a wank, wank, wank.

 

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Where were you last week?

(Tune - Where Oh Where Were You Last Night (from Hee Haw)

Where, oh, where were you last week?

Why did you make us hash all alone?

You Fat Lazy Bastards, you weren't even here.

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

Down, Down, Drink it all Down

Drink it all Down, Drink all of that Beer

You Fat Lazy Bastards, You weren't even here.

So we fucked all the virgins and drank all the Beer.

 

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Why are we waiting?

(Tune - O Come Let Us Adore Him)

Why are we waiting?

We could by masturbating [fornicating, rollerblading, my grandma’s ovulating, etc.),

Oh, why are we waiting,

So fucking long?

 

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Why was (s)he born so beautiful?

Why was (s)he born so beautiful?

Why was (s)he born at all?

(S)he’s no f*cking use to anyone,

(S)he’s no f*cking use at all.

(Occasional addition)

He may be a joy to his mother,

But he’s a pain in the asshole to me.

 

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You are a hasher

You are a hasher, but you suck.

You haven’t been here, what the fuck, fuck, fuck.

Cum more often, cum around,

Drink it down-down-down…

 

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Zulu Warrior

A lay zoomba, zoomba, zoomba,

A lay zoomba, zoomba, HEY!

A lay zoomba, zoomba, zoomba,

A lay zoomba, zoomba, HEY!

Drink it down, you Zulu Warrior,

Drink it down, you Zulu Chief, Chief, Chief…

 

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NATIONAL ANTHEMS

 

British Sailor

(sung in high voice with accent)

CHORUS:

Me no likely British sailor (Blitish sailor)

Yankee pay five dollar more (five dolla mo)


VERSES:

Yankee calls me honey baby,

British calls me f*cking whore.


Yankee knocks upon my window,

British kicks in f*ckin’ door.


Yankee cocks are sometimes limpy,

British cocks, they leave me sore.


Yankee lays me on a pillow,

British f*cks me on the floor.


Yankee tender kissed my nipple,

British licks my pussy raw.


Yankee treats me like his mother,

British f*cks me on all fours.

 

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All Australians are born illegitimate

(Tune - The Old Gray Mare)

All Australians are born illegitimate,
Born illegitimate,
Born illegitimate,
All Australians are born illegitimate,
Bastards through and through.


They ain’t got no birth certificates,
Birth certificates,
Birth certificates.
They ain’t got no birth certificates,
Bastards through and through.


They don’t know who their father is,

Who their father is,

Who their father is,

They don’t know who their father is,

Bastards through and through.

 

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Ou Est Le Papier?

(Tune – Marseillaise)

A Frenchman went to the lavatory

For to have a jolly good shit, shit, shit.

He pulled his pants and trousers down,

So that he could revel in it, it, it.

But when he went to reach

For the paper,

He found that someone

Had been there before.

Ou est le papier?

Ou est le papier?

Monsieur, monsieur, J’ai fait ‘manure’.

Ou est le papier?

 

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America, Fuck Yeah!

[Yank National Anthem]

America, fuck yeah!
Coming again to save the motherfucking day, yeah!
America, fuck yeah!
Freedom is the only way, yeah!
Terrorists, your game is through,
‘Cause now you’ll have to answer to,
America, fuck yeah!
So suck my dick and lick on my balls!

 

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PISSONYA

Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya
In Russian it means I love you
If I had my way I’d piss on ya all day
Pissonya, pissonya, pissonya

Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya
In Russian it means I adore you
If I had my way I’d shit on ya all day
Shitonya, shitonya, shitonya

Cumonya, cumonya, cumonya
In Russian it means I need you
If I had my way I’d cum on ya all day
Cumonya, Shitonya, Pissonya

 

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